Ba'gel the Lord of Bagels
by nemaara
Summary: Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel Bagel


Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

Disclaimer 2: I do not guarantee the quality of this one. Read at your own peril.

* * *

Raven stared at the plate of bagels on the table. And then looked around. Not a soul in sight. Back to the bagels. Round, plump things, some plain white, others of various colors, with fruits, seeds, and all sorts of other things in them, all begging to be eaten.

Raven blinked a couple times.

"Bagels," she muttered.

A large, wide plate, with tons of bagels piled on top of it. Who would have left such a thing there? As far as she knew, none of the others even liked bagels. Cyborg ate pancakes and waffles, Robin liked toast and bread, Beast Boy, tofu, and Starfire... well, whatever it was, she liked it.

As far as she knew, she was the only one who really ate bagels to any extent, and as much as she liked waffles, she needed some variety from time to time. Of course, nobody actually knew that because she really didn't put up much of a fuss about anything if she didn't have to, mostly so tat she wouldn't draw attention to herself.

So it was really strange that those bagels were randomly there. Who would have sent them?

Plump, fat bagels, with their smooth skins, begging her to eat them. She looked around suspiciously once again, then back to the table.

"I am a bagel," she said. Whatever that meant.

She quickly snatched a bagel from the top of the pile and like a little child, checked to see if anyone had seen her do it. Nope, nobody was around. She took a bite of it and felt the soft inner flesh give way before her teeth.

"Mmmm, tasty bagels," she savored the taste in her mouth and finished it quickly.

She grabbed another one and uncovered some cream cheese underneath. Opening it, she spread it over the plain bagel and began eating again.

"Le'bagels et cream cheese," she muttered.

She finished it and then took the plate of bagels back up to her room, lest anyone else find them and steal them goodies from her.

What was with her random obsession with bagels anyway? Sure, Raven had many obsessions - weird statues, dark colors, bunnies (no thanks to Mumbo), darkness, being angry at Beast Boy - but why bagels?

Surely it was not the round, fleshy, roundness with a slight gape in the middle, enticing, glabrous, shiny bagels... wait, what?

As opposed to flat, emaciated bagels? Or moldy, hirsute ones?

Well, if one thought of bagels the same way she was...

Never mind.

She set the plate of bagels down and decided not to think about it anymore.

* * *

_Dream_

Dreams of bagels and cream cheese, creamy stacks of bagels, little ones and giant ones, towering over her - there was one big enough that her father had gotten stuck in the hole in the center of it and was struggling to get out - she could not help but laugh at that sight - and then he had eaten the whole thing and tried to come after her, but it had been a bad bagel and he had gotten indigestion. And unfortunately, demon diarrhea was... smelly.

Bagels raining from the sky in assorted colors, tiny ones the size of raindrops. They bounced off her cloak, forming piles on the ground, bagel clouds in the sky raining down other bagels, cumulonimbus bagels the shape of flowers, cats, bunnies - wait, were those even bagels anymore?

Raven felt like she had gone a little insane. Just a little.

* * *

_Awake _

Awake, she ate a few more bagels. Ones of various plumpnesses and roundnesses and flavornesses, whatever that was supposed to mean.

She fell asleep again.

* * *

_Dream_

Dreams of bagelsuperheroes, wielding all the powers of the bagels, any of the bagelmen, bagel lantern, bagelwomen, etc. shooting bagels everywhere, defeating all the villains with the sheer power of the unbeatable tastiness - and if that failed, then they even had a secret weapon... cream cheese!

Okay, maybe she was completely insane. But then again, what was the point in being sane? She didn't think such a thing was very useful...

* * *

_Awake _

Awake again, she ate a few more bagels and found that there were only a couple left after she was done. That was a bit sad. But it was also something good for her as well.

Raven was reminded of why she had given up eating bagels a long time ago - they had their effects on her mental health.

* * *

_Dream-ish_

Not quite asleep, half conscious, visions of strange bagel creatures materializing around her. A slender figure showing its bagel to her... why was she even thinking about things like that?

Now that she thought about it, though, that figure seemed very familiar. Hair curled into horns, a pointy, feline-like face...

* * *

Raven woke up with a gasp and ran over to the plate of bagels. She ate two of them and found only a single, pink one remaining. And beneath it a note.

Enjoy~

J


End file.
